Relationship Development

Luis Alamilla

24 March 2011

Corozal junior college

Relationship Development

Coming Together

When it comes to first impressions in getting to know new people, I have difficulty expressing myself. I am a shy person so usually I don’t know what to say cause I do know how the person would react with me. But once I become use to a person I usually become more fluent with expressing myself, but still a little nervous. Once I have broken the ice I become a very likeable person. Then people get to see the type of person I really am.

One day from school I met this girl I really liked. She was a pretty short girl, with black hair and about my age. I would always attract girls by looking at them every minute and having them notice. If she looks back at me the same way, I am able to tell that she is interested. From there I would always have a friend know about this girl and tell him about her. Since I am the shy type I can never start a conversation with the person. So I would always have my friends do the talking for me, from there I would find an opening to do something funny or shameful to get the girls attention. If she starts a conversation with me I can take it from there. This is the initiating part of the relationship for me.

From there me and the girl would continue talking for a while till I run out what to say and run off, or get the feeling that the ice has been broken. From there on every time I would see the girl I would say high in a flirty manner, and try to pick a conversation every chance I get. From there conversations become more fluent and the likeness begins to grow between us. We also begin to share a little more about ourselves and past. This is the experimenting part of a relationship for me.

From this point we decided to start dating and start a relationship with each other. We begin to spend more time together, start sharing more personal things that we wouldn’t usually share with anybody. We begin to get closer with each other in a romantic manner, the physical contact increases in which kissing becomes involved. We would also become more comfortable in lending out our things to each other. At this point she would introduce me to her parents. This is the intensifying part of a relationship development for me.

This point has rarely occurred to me, if I reach this stage, this is where I would introduce the girl to my parents. People would always begin to see us together at school grounds, events and social places. Here we begin to trust each other and the relationship becomes serious between us, where I would consider falling in love with the person. From here the person would practically know everything there is to know about me. Would begin sharing same ideas and likes, in inviting her to come over for family events or watch a movie with me. This is the integrating part and the deepest part of relationship development that I have come crossed.

Luis Alamilla

Coming Apart

When people come apart is usually because when people come on to you at first they share a personality that is wonderful and memorable experience that you fall in love with.

But usually when couples become accustomed to each other their personality begins to change, they either show their true self or begin to take advantage of ones love and trust. This is the main cause where relationships begins to fall, well at least form my point of view.

When me and the girl begin to develop problems in our relationship we begin to loose interest in each other. We begin to have frequent conflicts with each other in public. Whenever we refer to each other we speak as the other partner is not there in the room with us. We then begin to hind some simple things from each other and begin to view every mistake the person does not do right. This is the differentiation part of relationship development to me.

If we believe we can work out things and strive for the better could be possible. But circumscribing stage has never occurred to me. If it does we always end up breaking up in the end.

Well if we continue to go in the same pattern, we are well on the way to breaking up with each other. At this stage we begin to feel less love for each other. We start trying to capture other people’s attention. All feelings toward each other become neutral and just start living like if the person is an extra burden. This is the stagnating part of a relationship development to me.

From here on we begin to have less frequent conversations and if we do we usually start quarrelling. We begin to avoid seeing each other, and we become spiteful and have fewer interactions. We come and go as we please; we no longer have lunch together and begin to change our routine.

When one of us can’t take it living this way we decide to end the relationship. I would usually choose to end the relationship in the easiest and best way a can as possible without trying to hurt the person. Endings are never because once you have become use to a person it is hard to say goodbye. This would be the hardest part of relationship in my perspective which is termination.

Sigmund Freud

Luis Alamilla
March 2, 2011
Psychology journal
Corozal Junior College
　
　

Sigmund Freud

Sigmund Freud was known as the father of psychoanalysis, he was a physiologist, a medical doctor, psychologist and influential thinker. He first worked in close collaboration with Joseph Breuer, where Freud elaborated the theory that the mind is a complex energy-system, and structural investigation of the proper province of psychology. His theories consisted of the concepts of the unconscious, infantile sexuality and repression, and he proposed a tripartite account of the mind’s structure all as part of a radically new conceptual and therapeutic frame of reference for the understanding of human psychological development and the treatment of abnormal mental conditions. I chose Sigmund Freud as the theorist that I believed the most because he is the most well known theorist and most importantly because of his theory on psycho sexual stages and the 3 parts of personality that he had develop for us to understand the conscious and unconscious forces that guides the individual. The three parts of the personality model consist of ID, Ego, and Superego. The id is the primitive part which is present at birth, it is unorganized, inherited part of the personality. Its purpose is to reduce tension created by our primitive drives such as those relating to hunger, sex, and aggression and irrational impulses. It would function in regard to the pleasure principle, which its goal is to receive immediate gratification and reduction of tension. In reality most people are prevented demands of the ID from being fulfilled. Such as receive food when hungry and carry out sexual drives whenever we feel like. The ego is the second part of the personality, it deals with reality. The ego functions on the reality of the principle, it ensures that our impulses can be expressed in an acceptable manner that could be conscious and unconscious. It would restrain us in order to maintain the safety of ourselves and help integrate the person into society. The ego can also influence in making decisions that controls actions and allows for a higher capability of problem solving that the ID would not be capable of such higher level of thinking. The ego is responsible for the higher cognitive functions such as intelligence, thoughtfulness and learning, and also the benefit of actions that delay gratification. The final part of the personality trait would be the superego. It is similar to the id in the case that it is unrealistic to an extent. The superego would be the last too develop, usually occurring in the pre adolescence. It gives a sense of the rights and wrongs of the society as well as family that is passed down to the person over their lifetime. The superego consists of two subparts known as the conscience and the ego-ideal. The conscience part deals with information about what’s bad or forbidden, prevents us from doing morally bad things, such as self punishment, guilt and remorse. The ego-ideal on the other hand gives rules and standards for behavior that motivates us to do what is morally proper, such as pride, value, and accomplishments. Basically the superego helps to control the id's impulses, making them less selfish and more morally correct. I agree with Sigmund’s theory because everyone has to have an ID where they have a need that is primitive in which there behavior is acted upon instincts before the mind is fully able to think for itself. I relate this to my personal life for example when my sister was born, as a baby she was not able to think she didn’t know from right or wrong, but what she knew by instinct was that she needed to feed. Whenever a baby is hungry or felt sleepy or simply jus needed attention by instinct they would cry to meet there required needs. So for my sister to meet her pleasure principle of services of immediate gratification, needs, desire, wants she would receive it by crying. The other part that deals with reality is the ego. In this part of the theory as u get older you begin to become able to think for yourself. You learn that some desires cannot always be met. This part of my life when I was younger I realized that everything has a limit no longer could I receive whatever I required when I needed it. For example one day when I was trespassing on a person’s yard picking grapes when a dog attacked me, crying never got me anywhere. I was faced with reality that next time I just simply run from the dog or avoid getting into that situation again. The final stage is super ego I defiantly agree because as everyone gets older, we all learn of moral values. Without the super ego stage I would not be the outcome of this world. Everyone has a form of fear in violating values and moral codes, which appear in a feeling of either guilt or shame. In my life as growing up I have been teached of having morals whether it is at school, home or even at society thru religion by going to church. I believe everyone should follow up to this theory because everyone has a conscious that gives them a sense from right or wrong and they freedom to choose on which they wish to act on. For example when not doing homework, or telling a lie can lead to trouble. Other theory of Sigmund Freud that I would agree on is the Psycho sexual stages. In this theory he developed on how our sexuality started from a very young stage and developed from various fixations. The oral stage begins from birth to 2 years where the baby begins to experience libidinal gratification through the mouth. I agree with this theory because it relates to the personality model where the ID dominates completely, as I had also stated an example of this stage in the ID trait. The second stage is the anal stage which begins from fifteen months to three years. This stage is where the infant changes from the sensitivity of the mouth to the anus. I agree with this stage because at this point ego starts to occur in conflict with ID, where as the child begins adjusting to the parents demands. Such as being toilet trained in which the key anal experience that is required. The Phallic stage is the third psycho sexual development stage which spans from the age of three to about six years. In this stage the child genitalia become his or her primary zone of sensitivity. Here the child begins to become aware of their bodies, the bodies of other children, and the bodies of their parents, basically learning the physical difference between male and females. In this theory there is still a conflict between ID and Ego for example in the boys case he would feel jealously and emotional rivalry against the father, where his ID wants to kill the father but his ego based on reality principle tells him the father is stronger of the males competing. The fourth stage is the latent period which spans from the age of six until puberty. Unlike the past three stages, here the child must derive the pleasure of gratification from second process thinking that directs the libidinal drives towards external activities. I agree with this stage because here is where sexual urges become suppressed. The final stage is the genital stage which spans from puberty and adult life, occupying most of the life of a man or woman. Its main purpose is to have a psychologic detachment and independence from parents. Here the persons concern shifts from instinct into applying secondary process thinking to gratify desire symbolically and intellectually by means of friendship, relationship, family and adult responsibilities. I agree with the genital stage because it comes about the strong sexual interests and eventually maturing in become self dependent and moving from the dependency of others. This is a stage that eventually everyone has to go thru if they have fully advanced from the previous fixation stages. In example when I grow up and go study abroad once a finish my career I am able to be independent no longer requiring help from my parents. Here I become responsible of my own actions in life and learn to deal with it alone for the most part of it.
　
　　

Who I AM

WHO I AM

I am a young student attending Corozal Junior College. I could say or be considered as a second to third year student because after the end of third semester of school I had stopped attending due to some miss understandings. I was studying under the bio/math major group but had dropped it because math was very difficult and I had not received the background I required at high school. I am currently enrolled in the course biology major only. I also attend night school, where I take 2 courses in the night and six in the day. I am currently under a lot of pressure and stress due to homework, where most of the times I only receive six hours of sleep each day. I am currently living in San Pedro but I seem to spend most of my days here in Corozal due to my studies. Here in Corozal I stay with four other students and a guardian, who watches over us. I believe I am a very lucky person because I have my parents to provide my every need, and supportive of any career I decided to part take. I am here studying in this college for myself and parents because they insisted in me having a better background before sending me to pursue my career. Cause if it was up to my choice I would have wished to pursue my choice of career right after high school. My personality has changed from my childhood days since primary school but has remained the same all thru high school. I still consider myself as being that shy person when it comes to getting to know new people. But I believed that I have great personality and a positive attitude once I become accustomed to the person, as well as they getting to know me. I can also be realistic at times depending on the situation. Most of the time I am in a good mood and always happy especially when not feeling tired and getting enough sleep. My lifestyle at school is practically the usual each day. I would just get together with friends for break periods and spend the time playing cards, chatting, or even at times doing homework. I would say I am living a simple life at the moment, with nothing special but the regular happening each day where I just finishing up school. I also am saying that I occasionally get depressed at times because I am no longer an active person in playing sports. Ever since my accident on my motorcycle, where I had fractured my right foot has disabled me to participate and enjoy the sport I’m good at, being football. I am also hurt by the fact that I can no longer able to do what I do best and known for, which is running. I am never going to be able to enjoy my hobby in participating in marathons or just doing the long runs for the exercise. Because of one mistake in life I have ruined what I love doing the most and have made my self depressed and unfit. So I would classify my self as a regular getting through basics of life working to make a better outcome in the future through school.